4 Tips For Maintaining a Strong Marriage After Kids
When you have kids, they become your whole world. It’s easy to put all of your efforts into making their life fun and exciting. Day in and day out. But don’t forget to pour into your spouse’s wants and needs. My wife and I have been married for 11 years now and we do a few things to maintain our strong marriage. Continue reading to find my 6 tips for maintaining a strong marriage after kids.
1. Communication is key to maintaining a strong marriage
Communication is so important in any relationship. But in a marriage with your spouse and with a house full of kids, it’s crucial to communicate often. Check in with your spouse in the morning. Before you go to work, communicate and set expectations for the day. During the evening, communicate what tasks need to be completed before bed time. Before bed, sit down together and talk about the day. Catch up with your spouse. This is where great conversation happens!
2. Active listening
While communication is great, active listening is just as important to maintaining a strong marriage. I am guilty of “listening” to my wife and later on in the day, it’s evident I missed quite a few details. How do we improve active listening with our spouse? Put your phones away. Be present. Make eye contact. Show you really care by making that effort to listen to what your spouse if really trying to say.
3. Plan date nights
In a house full of kids, a date night with your spouse often gets put on the back burner. Don’t let that happen. In a perfect world, my wife and I would love to plan a date night once a month. It doesn’t always happen like that. But we are honest with each other when our communication seems to be out of sync and a date night is necessary to reset. Plan date nights well in advance. Do you live near your parents or in-laws? Can you both sneak away for a few hours and reconnect? I have 5 amazing date night ideas, if you and your spouse are struggling to plan a date night.
4. Maintaining a strong marriage involves a lot of teamwork!
I always felt like my wife and I worked well together as a team. We just get each other. But that was tested as we started having kids and raising twins. When you have kids, it can get stressful and overwhelming at times.
Nights with very little sleep. Babies are up crying. One of your kids gets sick. Chores need to be done.
The importance of teamwork with your spouse becomes tripled with you have kids. My wife and I really focus on trying to help each other and make sure we don’t feel overwhelmed. At the end of each day, I always like to remind my wife that we are on the same team, even if things didn’t go as planned for the day.
I will add another tip on how we maintain a strong marriage:
We never go to bed angry.
If we are upset with one another during the day, we resolve it before we go to bed. Do not let the anger fester. That is the worst thing you can do for your marriage. Resolve it. Apologize. Forgive one another. Hug each other. It’s something we’ve always done and our marriage is better for it.